tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb
What are some cool sex positions
standing at the ATM handin me all ur money
if someone ever calls u a mean name just respond “nah” like how do you even respond to that realistically
some person: hey asstown
i think my favourite part about this post is that out of all the mean names someone could realistically call you, they chose “asstown”
Why don’t dogs get to see the world too?
This dog is literally smiling.
Oh my god
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooOoooOOoooooooOOOOOOOVE CORGIS
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off
reminder that Doc Scratch is about as serious as the rest of the homestuck characters
OHHHH MYYY GOODDDDDDDDD so my dad had his boss over for dinner tonight and during dinner his boss was like “oh my billy I didn’t know you had an older son!” and we were all like what is this guy talking about BUT THEN WE REALIZED HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE STUMP PICTURES TAPED ON MY REFRIGERATOR
AND MY DAD JUST WENT ALONG WITH IT SAYING “OH YES THATS MY SON PATRICK HE LIVES IN CHICAGO NOW” AND MY MOM AND I LAUGHED SO HARD WE HAD TO LEAVE THE ROOM